I was shooting some time lapse while bored last night (this morning) and had an idea to throw this video together. Well, I had an hour to really reflect on how alone I felt, in my push through life, before getting diagnosed and taking full steps towards managing my bipolar disorder.
I wrote this and then made the video. There is a lot more I would have liked to have done with it, and it might become a future project. But at least I got my thoughts down, before I took a nap and rested a bit. Long drive, made much longer by constant storms.
For most of my life, I was sure that happiness would never be achievable. I did not want to live and tried to end my life
I knew, from the depths of my soul, that I was different. There was something wrong with me. I was sick.
When I reached out to friends and family, I was told that everyone feels the way I do.
I watched people closely. Observed human behavior. Mimicked other’s reactions. Wore a very heavy mask of happiness.
My bipolar disorder was repeatedly destroying my life, relationships, successes, spirituality, and joy.
I didn’t know how to talk about it. How to describe my silent suffering. Physical pain of depression and out of control mania.
Today, I have made a choice to be happy. Understand my illness. Use its strengths. We can find a path to happiness.
If you are in pain, as I was… Know this:
YOU ARE NOT ALONE