This will be a short piece. Typing with a broken finger isn’t all that easy.
I’ve always had an ability to block out pain. For much of my life, my bad behaviors and out of control mental illness had wrecked my life and relationships, completely. I would box people and feelings up, in my mind, and stick them in dark shelves in the corners of my mind. A master at compartmentalizing, so I thought. Eventually, all the lids blew off as I had a series of anxiety attacks that stopped me from functioning, completely.
I finally seeked help. I was terrified to face all the things hiding in the dark places of my mind – and for good reason. It was a hard walk that took a lot of work. I’m still walking that walk, but the moon shines bright in those dark places, now, and the monsters aren’t as scary as I thought they would be.
As I talk about it and share – and others share their experiences – the power of these things continue to dissipate and monsters are reduced to mice.